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Post by Amaranthine Case on May 20, 2005 23:11:16 GMT -5
Another one I wrote a long while ago. One of the first things I wrote, at about three AM. I still remember the night perfectly. Eh. Wish I could still write. I didn't like this one, anyway, though.
Black and white, It's so dull, Colorless, emotionless, Killing me from inside,
Bleak as winter, Snow-caused drifts, Yet not quite right, Content, Unmoved, different from colorless,
A fire without embers, A passion with no kiss, Leaving without goodbyes, Unblanketing sorrow,
Together, yet apart, Can't take it anymore, I need you, Help me tear into color.
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Post by ~*Michelle*~ on May 21, 2005 0:10:11 GMT -5
I think you used very good imagery. And it has a soul purpose. I liked the third stanza the best, the only thing bad was that it's too short. I wish it went on for a bit longer. As if the fire was dying away.
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Post by Amaranthine Case on May 21, 2005 0:12:20 GMT -5
I think you used very good imagery. And it has a soul purpose. I liked the third stanza the best, the only thing bad was that it's too short. I wish it went on for a bit longer. As if the fire was dying away. Most of my poems were really long...upwards of a hundred lines...but they were all crap.
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Post by ~*Michelle*~ on May 21, 2005 0:17:06 GMT -5
It's not crap until someone else says it's crap. I think you're a really good writer and you can convey your thoughts and feelings well. I only hope you can share some of them.
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Post by love micky on May 28, 2005 0:15:28 GMT -5
It is pretty good. But it's slightly boring and monotonous. You create nice images, too bad it's too cliched.
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Post by Amaranthine Case on May 28, 2005 16:40:42 GMT -5
It is pretty good. But it's slightly boring and monotonous. You create nice images, too bad it's too cliched. Yeah...pretty much what I think when I look back on it now. Back then, I thought all the clichés were great...thank God I learned to be different.
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Post by love micky on Sept 19, 2005 4:09:49 GMT -5
Don't change yourself if you don't want to. Listen to your heart. (lol, that's one of the biggest cliches in the book!)
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Fire
Full Member
Snow falls lightly, ever so lightly...
Posts: 100
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Post by Fire on Sept 23, 2005 9:58:57 GMT -5
lol..
It's great, Amaranthine...I love the imagery...
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