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Amaranthine Case
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Black and White
« Thread Started on May 20, 2005, 11:11pm »
Another one I wrote a long while ago. One of the first things I wrote, at about three AM. I still remember the night perfectly. Eh. Wish I could still write. I didn't like this one, anyway, though.

Black and white,
It's so dull,
Colorless, emotionless,
Killing me from inside,

Bleak as winter,
Snow-caused drifts,
Yet not quite right, Content,
Unmoved, different from colorless,

A fire without embers,
A passion with no kiss,
Leaving without goodbyes,
Unblanketing sorrow,

Together, yet apart,
Can't take it anymore,
I need you,
Help me tear into color.
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~*Michelle*~
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'Tis far better to run and stumble, than to have never felt the wind in your hair.



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Re: Black and White
« Reply #1 on May 21, 2005, 12:10am »
I think you used very good imagery. And it has a soul purpose. I liked the third stanza the best, the only thing bad was that it's too short. I wish it went on for a bit longer. As if the fire was dying away.
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Amaranthine Case
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Re: Black and White
« Reply #2 on May 21, 2005, 12:12am »

Quote:
I think you used very good imagery. And it has a soul purpose. I liked the third stanza the best, the only thing bad was that it's too short. I wish it went on for a bit longer. As if the fire was dying away.


Most of my poems were really long...upwards of a hundred lines...but they were all crap.
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Re: Black and White
« Reply #3 on May 21, 2005, 12:17am »
It's not crap until someone else says it's crap. I think you're a really good writer and you can convey your thoughts and feelings well. I only hope you can share some of them.
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love micky
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Re: Black and White
« Reply #4 on May 28, 2005, 12:15am »
It is pretty good. But it's slightly boring and monotonous. You create nice images, too bad it's too cliched.
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Amaranthine Case
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Re: Black and White
« Reply #5 on May 28, 2005, 4:40pm »

Quote:
It is pretty good. But it's slightly boring and monotonous. You create nice images, too bad it's too cliched.


Yeah...pretty much what I think when I look back on it now. Back then, I thought all the clichés were great...thank God I learned to be different.
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Re: Black and White
« Reply #6 on Sept 19, 2005, 4:09am »
Don't change yourself if you don't want to. Listen to your heart. (lol, that's one of the biggest cliches in the book!)
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Fire
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Re: Black and White
« Reply #7 on Sept 23, 2005, 9:58am »
lol..

It's great, Amaranthine...I love the imagery...
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We cannot kindle when we will
The fire in which our heart resides;
The spirit bloweth and is still,
In mystery our soul abides.
-Matthew Arnold.

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